I haven't posted in some time.
I'm reading "Reclaiming Virtue" by John Bradshaw. I am trying some of his suggestions.
He calls addiction, "insatiability" That rang like a death knell. My hunger is insatiable. I am only stopped from the eating by distraction, shame, or the feeling of over fullness. Without those 3 things I would just eat nonstop.
Step One: (page 242)
Find a benevolent witness.
I have found this blog. It is my witness without comment, partiality, oppinion, or even voice. It is the 'one' I can come to and pour out my heart, my soul, my pain, until I find myself at the bottom of the pile. I believe that my true self is buried down there somewhere.
Mom!!! You can't laugh at these emotions. You can't because you can't hear me. You can't be effected. You can't regenerationalize this pain any more. You can't pass that hurt along. You can't because you are not invited to even so much as listen. You are not allowed an oppinion this time around.
So.....BW! Be gentle, be passive, be kind and compassionate. There is a DOG (daughter of God) that needs a little help...'lil hep'